free write ix

did you think;;; that i would ripen for you, come to bear, in you wrist,,, any less? did you think i would ripen like beads of sweat on your rocking rocking chest any more? did you think, did you dream, that i would poison myself any less on russian tongues, on nordic hips, on persian necks?///i will slide/inconsequential/ sequential/from the bed, from a mouth slack/with alcohol. there are only so many drinks i can chase at night. there are only so many streets i can tread. there are only s many eyes at sun-up/sun-down, closing the sun like a lost, like a lost child. alone in the wood,,,, finding the glen to rise at dusk. rise like hands. rise like hands flat against the sky. with me. with us. we move. like tides. like afternoon spectres. we take tea, we make coffee, we drain the trees of nectar. we are the neon blood, we are the tumbling towers. we are the undone buttons. unfastening one by one, prone, across a summer bed. and with each loop unhooked another line, another thread of sweat to the slope, to the crest of your back, to your basin where i wash. but, it all melts. i collapse, i am uncluttered i am broken mirrors and i am unfamiliar as fogged glass. write your name on my pane. blow your breath across me and a snake that finger, mark me like ghosts, mark me like spiral arm of spiral galaxies, as permanent as, as ephemeral as///but not not too close/dont undo this flesh/dont retouch this trembling lip, i will find i will find an open mouth/respirate/ hesitate/tesselate/// there ages there are pages there are books and crooks and hooks and nooks. there are moments un marked. minutes unmeasured, there are distances i have not moved. there are songs unsung and there are fires unkindled. but there are no eyes unopen there are no breaths untaken and no nails undug when i find you, when i find you// one leg over the other//one wrist under another/one palm up, one palm down;;; but i stop this i stop now i let it run off the rails let the film slip from the gate let the piano roll down the stairs. but from the ground/from the earth/ the lights will rise marking lines across the sky from here to nowhere.,,when i find myself alone//unsurrounded/// these thoughts will not collect they just unravel, untwine with no wax to wrap them back they simply split/so/so.so i will do my best two twist them back together thru thumb and forefinger, like beetles,like insects finding the summer stagnant nights, their wings unburdened by forgiving breezes, i will twist these fingers and i will twist this thread and take it/place it in my mouth and lock them together with this paltry spittle until/until i can find.this voice that calls only in caves, that calls me to the mouths if mountains, that finds me barefoot in the morning, with sunrise grass, blades rigid with sleep and fog,blades that would take my blood/that i would gladly offer should either ask or give.